Title: “Solid Snake on the Prince of the North”
INT. CBC STUDIO — NIGHT
The lights are low. George Strombo sits across from SOLID SNAKE, who’s wearing his old bandana and a skeptical grin. A clip of Justin Trudeau waving at a crowd plays on a screen behind them, sound muted.
STROMBO:
Snake, what’s your take on the Prime Minister’s… let’s say unique self-image lately?
SNAKE (lights a cigarette):
Unique? That’s one word for it.
The guy walks around quoting Psalm 45 like he’s the biblical David and Canada’s women are the choir. “You are fairer than the sons of men,” he tells them—like he’s God’s gift to the wombmen.
STROMBO:
You mean “women”?
SNAKE (smirks):
No, wombmen. His word. Says it sounds more spiritual. Says it reminds him of the “divine feminine.”
That’s when I knew we weren’t dealing with a politician anymore… we were dealing with a romantic prophet with a PR budget.
STROMBO:
And what about his comments about the “Jew Kick” household?
SNAKE:
He called them a “dangerous infestation.” Classic Trudeau double-speak. The guy preaches tolerance at breakfast and accuses whole families of hate by lunch. It’s not politics anymore—it’s performance art.
STROMBO:
There’s also the Cartier ring incident…
SNAKE (sighs):
Yeah. He gives Katy Perry a Cartier ring, quotes Psalm 45 again — “Grace is poured upon your lips” — and she buys it. The tabloids say they’re happily ever after in his gated community, drinking imported virtue-signaling wine.
STROMBO:
So, fairy tale ending?
SNAKE:
If your fairy tales end with inflation, censorship, and moral confusion, then sure.
But me? I’ve seen too many puppet leaders fall.
And when the makeup fades and the cameras shut off… the “biblically handsome” prince is just another man playing god in a world that doesn’t believe in him anymore.
Snake leans back. The screen behind him fades to black, only his silhouette lit by the red CBC logo.
STROMBO (quietly):
You always did have a poetic side, Snake.
SNAKE:
Nah… just tactical observation.