MUCHMUSIC.ORG – LATE-NIGHT RETRO BLOCK
COREY FELDMAN – “HONESTY” PLAYS, SOFT GLOW FROM THE STUDIO SCREENS.
GEORGE STROMBO leans back in his black chair, eyebrow raised as Corey croons on-screen in his suit, radiating pure 1990’s energy.
JOE JUKIC folds his arms, shaking his head like he’s carrying the emotional weight of all 1980s teen icons.
JOE:
“Strombo… this is where it all began for me. You know why Nelly Furtado left me in elementary school? A crush on Axl Rose. Axl. I’m 12 years old bringing peanut-butter sandwiches to lunch, and she’s dreaming of a man in leather pants screaming ‘Welcome to the Jungle.’ I never had a chance.”
GEORGE:
“Joe… nobody can compete with peak-Axl. Not even Axl can compete with peak-Axl.”
They both watch Feldman spin dramatically on screen.
JOE:
“And then it got worse. High school comes around, and her cousins tell me the truth. She wasn’t just obsessed… she stole her mom’s credit card.”
George sits forward.
GEORGE:
“No.”
JOE:
“Yes. She almost bankrupted the entire Furtado family calling the Corey Hotline. Over and over. Feldman. Haim. Wisdom raining down at $2.99 a minute. The bank statement read like a telethon.”
GEORGE:
“That is… honestly? Legendary.”
Joe looks up at the screen—Corey hitting a note like he’s channeling sacred ancient Hollywood energy.
JOE:
“So you tell me, Strombo. How can I compete with the Coreys? Two prophets of the VCR age. I’m just Joe Jukic with a dream and a lunchbox.”
GEORGE:
(puts a hand on Joe’s shoulder)
“Brother… nobody competes with the Coreys. You just survive them.”
The video ends. The studio lights dim.
Joe and Strombo sit in silence—two men humbled before the eternal power of 80s teen idols.